Today I found the following message posted on the Internet.
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Ok so I have am 18 month old son with my ex-girlfriend. I moved from New Brunswick (where she lives) to Nova Scotia (where my family and I live)…. Now she was recently raped and is having a very hard time getting back on her feet and is on the verge of being admitted… And even though she has never wanted me to take my child because she fears I will try to steal him (never happen, I have three kids with my current girlfriend…two step-daughters and one biological daughter)…… Anyway, she asked me to take my son for an extended amount of time… and we have began to discuss mediation… I am just wondering how that works? Who do I approach about it? Does me living in another province mean I cannot take my son when my ex is mentally unstable to take care of him? Also, I do not drive, would the mediation process provide a way for my son to be brought to my home? Also, I suspect that she will be using this time without her son to spend her childrens cheque on bar nights and pills, how do I send him back if thats the case?…. She is really on a downward spiral and I just need more information on this mediation
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And this was my answer.
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In a nutshell, this is how child custody mediation works.
A neutral mediator will help you and your wife present your respective views and concerns both about your son and about each other.
Typically, the mediator will ask you many questions, for example: where each of you thinks your son should stay, how long, how he will have contact with both dad and mom, whether he is covered by health insurance in case he gets sick, who will feed and clothe him, how you will take care of him in case of an emergency, and so on.
The whole idea of child custody mediation is that the more you and your ex-girlfriend can agree on what to do with your child, the better and easier you will make it for him.
If the two of you can reach an agreement, the mediator will write down all the terms you have agreed on. Conversely, if you cannot reach an agreement, no problem. You can still pursue your case in any other way you deem appropriate (i.e. in court), and at that point whatever you said in mediation cannot be used against you, because mediation is confidential.
And finally, keep in mind that:
- A neutral mediator has no power to decide whether and how your case should be resolved. That decision is entirely up to you and your ex-girlfriend.
- In the past, mediation was conducted only face-to-face in the mediator’s office. Nowadays it can also be conducted online – by video or phone conference, or email.
